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Regular Crack Chapter 37

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Wassup guys? So I've been looking through pairing requests through fanfiction and deviantart and the pairings are endless like I predicted! However, I think it's time to focus on a character that hasn't really had much attention lately: Thomas. PerryRocks on fanfiction.net gave me several suggestions for a Thomas pairing, so I'll do ThomasXRigby, as it's been quite a while since Rigby's been pairied up with anyone. Here we go! :)
~37th crack pairing: Thomas and Rigby~
 This year, April 1st, also known as April Fools Day, fell on a Monday. Mordecai and Rigby had just exited Muscle Man's trailer and walked away, somber looks on their faces.
"I-I can't believe it!" Rigby said, startled.
"I know, right? Muscle Man 'sick' on the biggest holiday of his life?" Mordecai was more than skeptical. "There's gotta be something he's planning.."
"Dude, stomach viruses are no joke! I had it every year through middle school!" Rigby said. "He vomited like three times while we were in there, and he's not gonna fake something crazy like vomiting!"
"True." Mordecai nodded, putting that whole thing to rest. "But..I-I can't do it dude."
"What? What do you mean?"
"It's rediculous! Muscle Man wants us to focus our pranks on one person and he won't even tell us why!"
"So what? It's just Thomas! He's just some intern kid, and he's got a sense of humor so he'll get over it!"
"Whatever man, you do it then, but I'm not. It's not fair to anyone."
"Dude," Rigby begged. "Muscle Man's gonna know you didn't get involved and he'll get you back, so just PLEASE do it with me! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEASE!"
"NO!" Mordecai shoved Rigby back. "I'm NOT doing it, and you CAN'T make me. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do.."
With that, Mordecai waled off, pondering to himself aloud.
I wonder if I should let Thomas know about Rigby's plan, it could totally wreck him..eh, he's used to it I guess. April Fool's Day only happens once a year anyway..
As Mordecai walked away, Rigby did as well, trying to find Thomas.
"Hmm hmm! Fine with me, I'll just have my own fun!" He pulled out a prank book. "Good thing I found this at that yard sale!"
Soon, he began to create a field day for Thomas, who'd be arriving soon. Instead of a bunch of small pranks set up around the park, he set up one large prank that was set up like a contraption.
It'd start out with a good-sized rock on the floor with a bunch of gibberish symbols written on it in . Rigby would tell Thomas there's something strange about it, so Thomas would pick it up and then...the prank would begin.
But it's gotta be just right...
Soon, Thomas parked his car and headed out to where Rigby was by the park house.
"Hey Rigby, whatsup?"
Rigby grinned an evil smile. "Heeeey Thomas, happy Ap-I mean, happy Monday!"
Thomas raised an eyebrow. "You seem pretty excited about it being Monday. Everything okay?"
"Yeah sure, man I-WHOA!" He widened his eyes at the medium sized rock nearby.
He and Thomas ran to it. Rigby was about to poke it with a stick, acting creeped out by the rock.
"Dude, what's up with that thing?"
Thomas shrugged. "It's just a rock, no biggie."
"But it's got signs on it! Look!" Rigby pointed to them with his stick.
Thomas rubbed his chin with the palm of his hand. "I guess that is pretty strange. Maybe we should leave it alone, it could've been a kid drawing on it."
"No dude! What if it's a bomb or something? We should take it to Benson just in case!"
Thomas looked scared now. "A bomb? Y-you're probably right, but y-you take it, I'm scared of bombs!"
"What, you think I'm totally fearless about bombs? YOU take it!"
Thomas crossed his arms and frowned at Rigby's sarcasm.
Rigby gave him a sad panda face. "Pretty pleeeeasee~?"
"Ugh, fine I'll do it.."
As Thomas went to go pick up the rock, Rigby felt like a little kid waiting to get on the bus for a field trip. He was so close, oh-so close..
Then, Thomas picked up the rock. Shortly after, he observed it..
"Heh, these aren't signs, they're just crude drawings of butts and dinosaurs.."
SPLAT! Thomas was doused with a gallon of orange paint and skunk spray coming from the 'rock', causing Thomas to give off a strange odor. Rigby began to back up towards a tree as his prank began to take action. Some of the park visitors watched the show.
"Agh, what the heck!" All of a sudden, Thomas felt a random show kick him in the back of the leg. When he turned around, he was met with a weird robot contraption that hit him in the face with a pie. Some of the contents got into Thomas's mouth.
"Ugh, that's SHAVING CREAM!" Without warning, the robot started tickling Thomas to pieces using his regular feather hands, causing Thomas to laugh uncontrollably. Without noticing, the robot's knife hands started splicing through Thomas's clothes and eventually exploded outta nowhere. When the robot exploded, pink pen ink got all over Thomas, who now had orange paint all over his face, skunk odor all over him, and to top it all off, these and the pen ink were all that clothed him, his clothes lay shredded on the floor.
The park visitors started for what seemed like minutes, and they soon began laughing hysterically, calling him several things like "Goat Cheeks" and "Pinkie Pal". What's worse was the pen ink started falling off and started showing a full nude Thomas while the park visitors continued to laugh at him, including Rigby, who was hiding behind the tree about to choke from laughing so hard.
Thomas could do nothing but stand there, red in the face and covering himself now. Suddenly, someone threw a pack of deodorant at him saying, "YOU STINK!" This caused the poor goat to sob and run off out of the park, the people still laughing.
It had become too much for Rigby. He was losing his breath from his own laughter, so much so that he fell to the ground, passing out.
~~~~
"Rigby? Rigby?"
Mordecai tried to nudge his friend and wake him up.
"Rigby? RIGBY!"
"AHH!" Rigby woke up and looked at Mordecai. "Whoa..I went back to sleep?"
"Yeah, you passed out here."
Rigby scratched his head, then remembered and grinned. "Oh yeah, ha! I was laughing so hard! Y-you shoulda seen it Mordecai! I-"
"I already know what happened, and so does Thomas! And it WASN'T cool, Rigby! You almost caused him to quit!"
"WHAT? It was just a prank!"
"JUST a prank? Dude, Thomas told Benson he felt like he was in high school again, and he was starting to have bad memories while those people were laughing at him!"
"B-but I didn't mean for it to go that far!" Rigby cried. "He was getting pranked a whole lot while he was new and he shrugged it off!"
"Those were small pranks and it didn't involve dozens of people laughing at him and calling him crude names and hurting his feelings! You owe him an apology!"
"But-"
"Just DO IT!"
Rigby sighed. "Fiiine.."
~~~~~
Mordecai told Rigby Thomas was hiding by the snack bar now, so that's where he found him. He shyly approached the goat, who was sitting down behind the snack bar.
"Uhh...hey Thomas."
Thomas picked his head up and looked at him. "Oh...hey Rigby.."
Rigby sat down next to him. He wasn't sure of what to say. "Thomas, I-"
"Save it."
"What?"
"I know you're sorry, no need to say it." Thomas smiled at him. "You don't seem like the kinda person that enjoys saying it too much."
"It was just a prank gone wrong, Thomas!" Rigby finally let out. "I didn't mean to bring back harsh memories, it was just all in the name of April Fools Day!"
"Wait, that was today?" Thomas checked the calendar on his mediocre phone, which also showed 3 missed calls from his mom. "Heh, guess I shoulda been prepared for whatever pranks were coming my way."
"I know man I-"
"Shh." Thomas put a finger to Rigby's mouth. "I already said it's cool, Rigby. Don't worry about it. I know you didn't intend on hurting my feelings."
"Really?"
"Yeah, Mordecai told me everything before you came by."
"He told me you were gonna quit! Is that true?"
"Yeah, but.." Thomas grinned. "I say a lot of things when I'm angry, so I'm not going anywhere. Plus, the things I experienced in high school were WAY worse than what you did to me."
"Pfft," Rigby waved him off. "Yeah right, I got you good! I saw you running off crying to your momma, 'Goat Cheeks'!"
"Heh, I bet you did, 'One Cheek Wonder'."
Rigby gasped. "Take that back!"
Thomas chuckled. "Yeah, doesn't feel good when it happens to YOU, does it?"
Rigby was speechless, and looked down. "No..."
"Good. Hey, since it's still April Fools Day, wanna go prank someone?"
"No way man, I'm done with pranks....atleast until Muscle Man gets sick again. How 'bout we get some snacks or something?"
"Good idea!" Thomas grabbed some sodas and gave one to Rigby.
"Thanks, dude, I was parched."  As he opened the soda and tasted the contents, he realized something.
"Wait, that's....MUSTARD? IN A CAN? BLEHH! What the 'H', Thomas?"
Thomas chuckled. "You think I wasn't gonna get you back?"
Rigby grinned. "Hmm hmm, true talk."
Thomas stopped laughing and got an actual soda for him. "Here, that's the real deal."
As Rigby opened the can and drank the soda, he enjoyed the tasted, but as soon as he removed the can from his mouth, he noticed...the infamous ring.
And Thomas's unstoppable laughter.
"Thomas, seriously?"
Thomas stopped laughing and grinned. "Hey, I never said we were 'even'."
Rigby rolled his eyes and laughed a bit. "Okay okay, are we even then?"
Thomas opened his arms for a hug and Rigby joined in. "Yeah we're even...for now."
"Okay dude, see ya later?"
"Sure." Thomas replied. As Rigby walked away, Thomas called his mom.
"Hey mom.....yeah, everything's going awesome. I love it at the park. Say, can I borrow your air horn tomorrow?"
I finally wanted to do something with Thomas, since we haven't had enough of him in the show lately. These two seem like polar opposites, so that makes things more interesting :D
© 2013 - 2024 pinkluver93
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PlanetHannah's avatar
so good! :eager: i like thomas its a shame hes not on the show as much, i want to get to know him more :no: but your story was so epic!! :clap: